There are many reasons everyone should just STOP doing this. For each of us, it is likely different. For you it might be because you’re likely to stumble upon happy moments that they’re having when what you really want is for them to be dying without you. For me, it’s more that though I sincerely wish good things for my ex’s, I want them to fucking not exist to me ever again. I mean, can’t we go back to the days of Seinfeld when we didn’t know any-fucking-thing about our exs’ save the occasional sitcom run-in? When you tumble down the wormhole that is looking at your ex’s Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, and so on, you waste time feeling jealous and sad when you should be living your own life and being a full, happy person. You start signing onto these platforms simply to see what your ex is up to, rather than to interact with the people in your life that actually matter. You can’t truly move on from someone, until you learn to stop caring about them. If you’re internet stalking, you still care! On top of that, you’re being pathetic. We’ve all been there, but I can tell you I feel 1000x better when I just steer clear of that bullshit. It’s a huge practice in self control, and what you learn from moving on is so worth it.
So, in 2014 I implore all who read this to follow my lead and stop being fucking pathetic shitbags who stalk their ex’s on the internet. Instead, use that time to learn something new — you know, like how to not be a crazy person! Or rollerblading! I don’t know, what do young people like to do again? I am going to spend that time eating more cheese!
Here’s to a new year and a slightly less crazy you!