Juicy?

by Michelle

Saturday was a good day. I cleaned and relaxed and then saw Postal Service and got drunk off whiskey like a boss.

Saturday was good despite a weird start to the day. I woke up early to the sun shining through my window, listened to the perfect Ray Lamontagne and read. Once my roommate woke up, and we cleaned up a dead cockroach, we decided to walk to a nearby coffee shop to start the day. On the way there my ass apparently caught the attention of an older black gentleman. He felt the need to express this to me, so I kindly told him to “fuck off.” This did not deter him, however, and he told me he “wanted to bite it.”

I turned to Kelli and whispered “He’s talking about my buuuuutt.” 

Dude, like….I get it. I am a white girl with a supposedly juicy big butt. You are a black man in Bedstuy. This is how we interact. But…come on. It’s 10am. Why you gotta talk to me like it’s 11pm? I haven’t even had coffee yet how am I supposed to respond to you telling me you want to bite my butt? MY BUTT! YOU WANT TO BITE IT. Like, that is your opener? What do you say to a chick once you have her naked?? Shit, I don’t ever want to hear how you talk at 11pm….I am disturbed. 

Anderson Out

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