“Our City Correspondent, Stefon!”
Me: I think I am going to like, go for a walk at 3:30. I can’t take it. I need the sunlight
Kelli: yes yes yes yes
Me: If you’re looking for sunlight than new york’s hottest club is, “OH YEAAAAA!” Opened by the koolaid man after he got over his heroin addiction and found himself lying in an empty wearhouse in queens, this club has everything: Cat performers, Black Ryan Gosling, prayer candles, the couch from Friends, and human snuggies.
Kelli: human snuggies?
Me: It’s that thing, where a midget wrapped in a blanket hugs you, but you still have use of your arms.
I think I just wrote Stefon’s next sketch….now if only I could find a way for Bill Hader to come to my living room and perform this.