Do These Things With Me!!

by Michelle

I spent a lot of last summer not doing all the fun things that NYC has to offer. Mostly because I had bed bugs and that legit stressed out beyond all belief. But no more! This summer I will preserver and enjoy the great city I live in. And I would love some company — my friends that is, not bed bugs. But I am far too lazy to gauge which of my friends would be interested in what, so I figured I would make a list and if you want to join me, please do! The list ranges from free to mid priced and mostly involves food, because…hello, it’s me. I love food more than most people I meet.

  • Smorgasburg: A food fest of sorts on Saturdays and Sundays starting April 6th. Located in either East River State Park (Saturdays) or Brooklyn Bridge Park (Sundays) and has a ton of amazing food for moderate prices. Screw Saturday morning brunch, let’s do this!!
  • Cherry Blossoms at Brooklyn Botanical Garden: For the month of April the cherry blossoms bloom in Brooklyn Botanical Garden — tickets are only 10 bucks!
  • Frieze Art and Food Fair: NYC’s answer to London’s fair of the same name, this amazing food and art fair is located on Randall’s Island on Sunday May 12th. It’s $40 bucks but seems worth it.
  • Lit Crawl Brooklyn: BOOZE AND BOOKS?? What else could you ask for?? My friend once found me after a drunken night out propped up on my bed, reading David Sedaris’ latest book and giggling like an idiot — so obviously this is right up my alley. If you think so too, join me Saturday May 18th at 6pm.
  • Fleet Weekend Saturday Night: Look, if you’re a gay male or a straight female and you don’t already know what Fleet Week is get out of my fucking face with your sad life. Once a year NYC is swarming with sexy men in sexy uniforms. Now obviously, the Marines are the sexiest, but really any sexy man in uniform will do. Give me a fucking postal worker for all I care. Hey ladies? Want to know what its like to live in those cities where women DON’T outnumber women and men are actually nice and buy your drinks and you don’t have to settle for the short but still cute guy at the end of the bar? Then join me Saturday May 25th for a little bar crawl featuring the country’s finest. If we play it right, this won’t cost a thing.

Okay y’all. Get at me. Lets make this summer fucking unforgettable.