Return of the Big Nippled Man

by Michelle

I don’t know if y’all remember my horrible okcupid date at the beginning of this year, but it certainly has seared itself into my memory. And after never returning another text and blocking him on OKC I thought I had rid him from my life forever. I was gravely mistaken though, as he had a creepy ass trick up his sleeve –he made a new OKC account, I assume because he creeped out so many girls.

Well last week I got an email from his new account asking if I wanted to meet up again or if the last date was a “total fail.” How do I even respond?

No, creepy dude, the last date was not a total fail. I’ve been spending the last eight months biding my time, thinking of you as I lay alone in bed at night, hoping against all hope you would find me again and fill the hole in my heart. I have spent the last eight months yearning for your touch; waiting for you to climb the steps to my apartment, storm into my bedroom, and take me like the prize you deserve. Where are you my creepy prince??

Anderson Out.