Michelle’s Theory of Relativity

by Michelle

This following is an actual email conversation between my uncle and I:

Message: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Michelle to Brad
I just received the following text: “I just noticed A’s hands. Seriously elf like.”    — Pinhead

RE: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Brad to Michelle
“Elfin” would have sounded funnier.   — Muncle

RE: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Michelle to Brad
He’s not very observant — he’s just noticing A’s lady hands.    — Pinhead

RE: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Brad to Michelle
A has a really big face though. I’d love to see him do the “Home Alone” pose. It would look like Macauley Culkin’s child hands on a Where the Wild Things Are head.   — Muncle

RE: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Michelle to Brad
It’s like the Burger King commercial where the dude won’t eat the big cheeseburger because he is embarrassed of his tiny hands.

Great….now I want a cheeseburger.   — Pinhead

RE: I have been pointing this out for years (maybe)
Brad to Michelle
Wanna grab a cheeseburger?    — Muncle

I guess there is really no theory here. Except, who else besides your relatives would make fun of a mutual friend’s tiny hands with you and then still want to eat a cheeseburger with you? No one, probably. So treat your family well. Or  don’t — do whatever you want. But I am going to treat MINE well. And by that I of course mean constantly asking for favors and letting them take me out to brunch at Peaches so I can make googily eyes at the bus boy.

Anderson out.

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