Like Jay Z Only Terrible

by Michelle

I have GOT to stop getting drunk and telling people I am a rapper. I’ve rapped once. At Karaoke. It was good but it, like, doesn’t make me a rapper. Heady with the praise I received after my one time performance — the last few times I had a few too many drinks, I have told strangers that I sing and rap. Which makes it seem like I write and perform and could likely freestyle upon request.

Let me tell you, I cannot freestyle. But there is a slight chance that if someone requested that I freestyle after I have drunkenly told them I am a rapper I might think I CAN freestyle.

I’ll think, I am just like Jay Z! He freestyles his songs!

And it WILL be just like Jay Z — only terrible.