Baby I Would Be So Good to You

by Michelle

“I check your blog EVERY DAY and there is NEVER ANYTHING NEW!”
“I’m sorry! I have been busy — I promise to write something new tomorrow.”

So, per my promise I thought I would share a theory I have been working on, concerning hitting on men. The basic idea is, what would happen if I hit on men in Manhattan the way men in Bed-Stuy hit on me. Would men respond positively if I repeated verbatim what fellas holler to me on the street? Would they get upset and perhaps learn a lesson about how they objectify women?

My hypotheses is that they would react positively to being objectified, mainly because it isn’t a daily occurrence for them. Will you ladies help me test this out? You can park yourself on some corner with your friends and say things to every dude that comes your way. You can stop a man in a bar pretending to be just taken with his looks. Feel free to do some ass grabbing! If you need some ideas on what to say, you can pull from the below. Keep in mind, these are things that men have actually said to me just altered slightly so they can be said back to men.

  • Baby, baby, baby — can I talk to you? babybabybabybabybaby just come here for sec. (this should be continuously hollered at someone until they get to the end of the block)
  • Baby you  are so beautiful, you are so beautiful. You got a girlfriend? MMMM MMMM MMMM
  • Bitch, you got a fat ass (said as a compliment)
  • Hey white boy! get over here with that big ol’ booty! I said get over here with that big ol’ booty, white boy!
  • Stop a guy in a bar and say this: “you are so beautiful, how can I get you to see me again?” Don’t let go of his arm, force him to physically remove himself from your grip.
  • Baby, I would be SO good to you! you got a girlfriend? because I would be SO good to you!
  • What, you don’t like black people? (okay that one doesn’t really apply to me, but some OLD OLD OLD dude said that to me when I didn’t respond to his cat calling)
  • MMM MMM MMM boy you are SO SEXY. I’d like a piece of that. Just what mamma likes!
  • If some dude accidentally makes eye contact with you, say hello and if he says hello back stop walking and start following him and say: “hey hey hey wait, can I get your number? can I get your number? hey hey hey you got a boyfriend? (stop walking and start screaming after him) I WOULD BE SO GOOD TO YOU! WE COULD CHANGE THE GAME!!!”

 

Report back to me if anything interesting happens.

Anderson out.

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