My Love Letter to Ryan Gosling
Today is leap day. Leap day is a day that you are supposed to do something that you wouldn’t normally do. What did I do today? Let’s see, I worked, made several sarcastic comments, came home and watched TV, and cried at said TV while eating 4 popsicles and a bowl of cereal. So basically, I had a pretty average day and didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. I am pretty disappointed in myself for not being adventurous so I decided to write a fan mail to Ryan Gosling at the suggestion of my roommate. But then that seemed really hard and there is only, like, 20 minutes left until March so I am just going to put it on my blog in hopes that Ryan Gosling will find it one day when he googles himself. Because, like, who doesn’t google themselves? I don’t, but that is mostly because there is this hot, asian porn star who has the same name as me, so my google searches are wasted. Anyway, here it goes…
Dear Ryan Gosling,
I love you and I think you are really handsome. I like your eyes and you have nice hair. Your arms are especially shapely — I am not mad at them. I think it would be highly beneficial to you if you dumped Eva Mendes/Longoria (I can’t remember which one you are dating because they are both Latina and hot and also DAMAGED GOODS FYI). I may not be as pretty as her but I think you should dump her and come be my boyfriend. We could hang out at my apartment and watch grey’s anatomy and I would probably cry but that is okay because I could use your shirt as a tissue. You wouldn’t mind right? I could also make you lots of top ramen, which is really good because I add sriracha sauce to it to make it spicy — I think you would really like it. We could also get drunk off wine and dance to spice girls in my apartment after I cry while watching sad TV shows. I am a really good dancer and I promise to teach you to do the robot. I only have a twin bed but I would be happy to set up the pull out couch for you, it’s really nifty and my roommate probably wouldn’t mind. And the next morning we could go to Peaches and have yummy breakfast and I could introduce you to Peaches Ryan Gosling and then we could all make out. So…let me know what you think in the comments section. I would be happy to bounce ideas back and forth.
Michelle Anderson (not the Asian porn star, the one that works at clear channel)