For all of my friends who didn’t know (which is almost no one, since I talk to everyone about everything and never stop speaking), I recently found out my landlord in selling the building I live in and I had to find a new apartment. This news was delivered to me on January 1 while I was laying on my friend’s couch in a half dead, half pickled state. My roommate called me, like, 7 times and I didn’t notice the missed calls until AFTER we were done watching Harry Potter. Luckily, she informed me that we had a few months to move, but since I can be a bit stressy and type A, I wanted to get the situation figured out and just move. I didn’t want to deal with moving right before my trip to hawaii (white people problems?). SO…….drum roll please……we found a new apartment!! Me and the roommate I like are moving in about a week and half to a really great two bedroom in the top floor of a brownstone. The apartment is SO cute and spacious and we get to stay in the neighborhood! Which is the best part, because how else would I live without daily interactions like the following?
Big Black Guy: Mmmmm girl you so fine, get over here with that big booty.
Me: Oh, no thank you.
BBG: (as I am walking away) White girl…..HEY white girl!! ………HEY WHITE GIRL!! I SAID GET OVER HERE WITH THAT BIG OL’ BOOTY!!
I mean….how else would I live without this daily affirmation as to the largeness of my booty?