Why I Don’t “Do Drugs”

by Michelle

*DISCLAIMER: This is kind of long. Stoners with short attention spans probably won’t make it all the way through. So to sum up: I think you’re an idiot. THANKS!*

There are a million things I could put here. But my main reason? I like living. Not the kind of living as opposed to being dead, but feeling life. I thoroughly enjoy life and the things it has to offer. Like feeling the bite of the wind on my face on a crisp, cold day — that is one of my favorite things about living. I know a lot of people who do choose to partake in mind-alterers that will tell you that certain drugs will heighten your senses — but that is not what I mean by living. I like living on this plane — in a natural state of mind, really experiencing and remembering things. Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t done my fair share of drugs in college. I would never say I went overboard but I experienced enough that I had a little fun and realized that I would never want to make them a big part of my life.
To be clear, I am also not saying that I would never want to be a meth or heroine addict because, like, who WANTS TO BE A METH OR HEROINE ADDICT?

I know most people who use drugs on the regular will dismiss this but that’s fine, and just too bad.

I think part of the reason I could never be a drug user is because I know my limits. Even when I go out drinking, I know when to stop. I recognize when a situation is enough for me. Mostly because I hate hearing about things I did the next day — especially if it was something really rude. My ability to know my limit is why you will never find me snorting coke at a strangers house at 6 in the morning in coney island because I just couldn’t end my night. Or dropping acid in the middle of a church on a school field trip to a convention about Israel and Palestine because the very controversial and interesting subject matter just wasn’t enough. This ability to know my limits is why I have never been arrested and also why I was able to get my shit together and move to NYC on my own. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a lot — A LOT — that I don’t like about myself. But one thing that I really do like about myself is my self control and capacity for growth and learning as a person.

Now, I went to a college that was rampant with drugs, I would venture to say more than most others, Evergreen. If you have heard of it, you know what I mean. Full of college kids always thinking that living a life where you smoke weed all the time was the best way to live and never shutting the fuck up about it. I was the odd man out on those types of things in college. Maybe it’s because I had to have a job and get loans, so I wasn’t going to fuck around, but I could not be more tired of getting lectures from stoners. So, I know exactly what they will think when they read this (if they can find the energy),  she doesn’t even know. I feel bad for her — she’s missing out on so much. WHOA — how did she know I was thinking that. And again. Shit. This shit is freaky. What was I saying? oh yea — she doesn’t even KNOW, man. 

I do know though, man. You can feel bad for me but I feel so bad for you and all that you miss out on in life because you spend it in a pot/mdma/acid/coke haze. I get to live in the daylight and don’t ever have a need for any drug. I have a life, one that is formed by new experiences and I don’t rely on any drug in order to have those new experiences — they’re real. I feel true pain because I don’t use something to escape it but also, true happiness. You may think I am missing out but it is you who is missing out, my friend. I get to see sunrises — SOBER. I am happy and satisfied and not just because I scored my next fix. I have a great job that I am challenged at every day. And most important, people can rely on me — despite all my faults, my friends know I will ALWAYS come through for them. This is probably the main reason I don’t partake in drugs — I like being reliable. I like to be there for people and when I am spending time with someone I want to make sure they are getting the real me. Not the drugged out or stoned me, but just…me. Sarcastic, anxious, fucked up asshole that I am.

Anderson Out.