Stalker 101

by Michelle

Here is my first tip to stalkers – don’t look at my linkedin profile every other day because linkedin informs me who is looking at my profile. The fact that this guy looks at my linkedin profile so often makes me think that he is probably facebook stalking me as well and gives me hope that he may read this blog post and take the fucking hint.

I should re-wind. Remember the guy that sexually harassed me at the company holiday party? The one that has a girlfriend back in England but constantly says inappropriate things to me? Well, this mother fucker put the icing on the cake on the night of my last day at the company I worked at. Some people from work went out for happy hour drink and then a select few of us went to karaoke – this guys was pretty well behaved all night, just being his normal obnoxious self, and I thought all was well. He and I both left karaoke  a little earlier than everyone else and decided to grab some food before we went our separate ways. WORST. DECISION. EVER. He spent the entire meal lecturing me on what being a good friend is, how young I am, what I need to work on as a person BLAH BLAH BLAH. All this coming from a 29 year-old who does drugs on a semi-regular basis, gets way too drunk at company events, most likely cheats on his girlfriend on a regular basis, and frequents strip clubs like the skeeze he is. I hope for his girlfriend’s sake she is also getting a little action on the side. Who does he think he is to lecture me about life? He clearly does not have his shit together. I am far from being perfect but for a 22 year old I have a lot of my life together – and as a general rule I never take advice from people who could rival Charlie Sheen in their everyday life.

Anyway, I stop him mid sentence and tell him that if he can’t just have a conversation with me he might as well not talk. I said I appreciate your concern but I don’t need this advice, I will learn things with age and don’t want to be lectured and generally don’t care what you think. He took this as a personal challenge to prove to me what I do care what people think and said that everyone at work thinks that I “am desperate for the cock.” um…..Not only is this not true about me at all, people do not think that about me. I was pissed – he was trying to hurt my feelings to prove a point. It was at this moment that I realized that I do not enjoy spending time with him nor do I like him as a person. I am at a point in my life where I don’t feel the need to spend time with people who make me feel bad just so I can have company – I’d rather eat alone. I finished out the meal, went home and blocked him from my phone and resolved to never speak to him again. If only that is where it stopped.

My poor friend J Money who still works with him said the only topic they ever discuss is me, about how he thinks I am so funny and cool and unique and he doesn’t know why I don’t talk to him blah blah blah. Is he stupid? Yes I am all those things, but when someone calls me a desperate whore just to make me feel bad so they can be right – they pretty much lost any chance at friendship with me.  On top of all this he has emailed me on facebook and I told him I was too busy for drinks, and invited himself to a dinner that Rajer and I had planned (he was promptly uninvited).

Hopefully, he will at some point leave me alone (and my friends for that matter) but I wish I knew what it is about me that solicits this type of behavior on my person. Can someone please give me some clue as to why men stalk me like this? Even when I am straight forward and tell them to leave me alone I seem to keep attracting people that are assholes to me and then attach themselves to me. ick.

Here’s a tip for people: Don’t be dicks – just be nice and stop playing games with people. Then maybe we will all be a little happier.

Anderson out.